“(…) but instead of telling that other person (…) you say to yourself: why should I have to say something to her? She should be more responsible (…) you keep it to yourself and blame the other person. The next time the same thing happens, your feeling is even more intense (…) you suffer so much that you need to talk to a third person. You are looking for sympathy in order to share your suffering. So, instead of talking directly to “A”, you talk to “C”. You look for “C” because you think “C” is an ally who will agree with you that “A” is not behaving well at all (…) You’re becoming allies – “B” and “C” against “A”. Suddenly “B” and “C” feel close to each other, and both of you feel some distance from “A”.
in: Teachings on Love, by Thich Nhath Hanh